If you stop trying to fix others and evolve yourself, you will start to see big positive changes in the people around you.Trying to fix others will only result in frustration, confusion and resentment.
They say you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. That goes the other way too. You’re one of those five for other people. When you evolve, the people around you can’t help but evolve. And those people are some other people’s significant five. The ripples eventually spread around the entire globe.
When you evolve people become curious.
Most of us have at least one person in our life that we want to “fix”. We hear that person speak and our brains constantly feed us reasons why this person is thinking in a distorted way. An urge rises in us and we start dumping advice – Advice that was not asked for and not wanted. I say there is a better way.
When you’re in a conversation with this person, let go of the need to fix. Let go of the need to let slip some advice. Listen to and feel what the person is saying, without judging. Try to find the qualities and the characteristics that make you like this person. Let go of the bad things – Eventually you will see that it is probably not as bad as you thought.
When you are open and non-judgmental, they will feel a space opening up around you. That space is love. Love is a verb – It is something you do. But, in a way, it can also be something that you don’t do. Absence of judgment is part of love. In that open space of love, people start opening up – They relax. They will start telling you that they feel they can tell you anything – You’re one of the few that can understand.
Understanding someone requires love. It requires that open space where words are not judged – Where anything could be said in the now and the past does not exist. Realize that the past is created by judgments.
But what about what they did? It is obviously bad, you say. Yes, it is bad on one level. In the world of duality – good and bad IS created and it is a part of our experience as humans. As humans we react to those things. We could say that something is objectively good or bad in the world of duality.
So, yes, it might be bad. But we also know that the world of duality is imposed upon a deeper reality where there are no boundaries. It just is. Knowing that there is a vastness outside of our few years of the human experience, gives perspective. Petty grievances can be laid aside for that moment of space – of love.
Maybe they will open up and maybe they will ask for advice.
But whatever you can say to them to make them change is nothing compared to the way you act – out of love.