We were recently asked how to get over being hurt by someone close to us. How can we forgive and move on? Parts of this article are based on our response to that email.
It is always sad when someone hurts us. I’ve been hurt myself and I have heard countless stories. It always breaks my heart.
I am also hopeful, however, because I know that there is something better on the other side of situations.
I am not talking about meeting someone better, although that will also probably happen. I am talking about the type of person you can grow into.
The Person You Can Be
Let me just explain the type of person that I know you and everyone else CAN be:
You know you will always grow as a person. You work towards achieving your dreams, but you also enjoy the present moment. You take steps every day to become more comfortable with who you are.
You view every good experience with other people as a bonus on top of the wonderful being that you are. You view any bad experience with other people as something to grow from. You know that things will always happen to you, but that you control how you react to these things.
You have clear boundaries for what you accept into your life, because you have a deep self-worth. When others hurt you, you forgive them. Not because you’re nice to them, but because you’re nice to you. You know that being angry and bitter only hurts you. You let go of the anger and the people that hurt you, and meet new and fantastic people.
You’re able to grieve and be sad, but you don’t let it consume you. You know that being sad and experiencing being hurt is a part of life. You don’t want it in the moment, but you realize that life without hurt is impossible. You cherish what it teaches you. You step into the unknown with courage, not because you know you won’t get hurt, but because you want to live life to the fullest. And living life to the fullest includes being hurt.
The twist is that the fun does not lie in finally becoming that person. All the fun lies on the journey to becoming that person. This is the true value you can get in life: to grow and evolve. Not meeting perfect people or always being happy.
When you get to this point you will effortlessly attract better people into your life. But you won’t need them, because you are complete in yourself.
There are two paths you can choose. One leads to the person I just described. The other leads to suffering. Continue reading